Fur of the Turtle
Back to Two Beards One Bench

AUDIO PRODUCTION PENDING — Script approved. Note: this is the only sponsor read not mandated by HAB. Eric and Dwight wrote this one themselves.

Sponsor Ad Read — Pre-Roll

Fur of the Turtle Farm

Farm Brand · Est. runtime: ~45 sec · Readers: Narrator + Dwight · Placement: pre-roll

NARRATOR

Quick word from the farm.

[PAUSE — 1 sec]

NARRATOR

Fur of the Turtle is a closed-loop chelonian fiber operation based in the northeastern United States. They raise freshwater turtles. The turtles produce wool. The wool becomes product.

[PAUSE — 1 sec]

NARRATOR

The turtles also eat potato skins. The leftover potato flesh goes to the food truck. The food truck gravy is finished with turtle lanolin. The lanolin comes from the wool harvest.

[PAUSE — 1.5 sec]

NARRATOR

Nothing is wasted.

[PAUSE — 2 sec]

NARRATOR

I have been asked to note that this is not a metaphor.

[PAUSE — 1.5 sec]

NARRATOR

Fur of the Turtle. Chelonian fiber, ethically harvested, compliantly processed. Visit furoftheturtle.com slash our-farm to see the full supply chain.

[PAUSE — 1 sec]

NARRATOR

They also have a blog.

[PAUSE — 1 sec]

DWIGHT

It's a good blog.

[PAUSE — 1 sec]

ERIC

It's a good blog.

[RESUME EPISODE]

NOTE FROM ERIC — This is the only read we actually wanted to do. The HAB ones are contractual. This one we wrote. If you're listening to this and you found the farm through the podcast, that's the whole point.